Posted in Blog


Yesterday was a lost day.

Now I don’t say that to be metaphorical, or even quirky. It’s just the truth. I had a really busy day, including my usual Copywriting lecture, a lecture with a guy who publishes comic books, watching The Lego Batman movie, and getting shit-faced at the pub.

Mainly getting shit-faced at the pub with no contingency plan was the reason why I uploaded nothing yesterday. So technically it took me less than two weeks to fail my bloguary.

But guess what?

I’m not that easily deterred.

Yesterday was a really good relaxation day. I don’t drink that often, and when I do I don’t get drunk. Usually, I’m a little tipsy, but I sober up pretty quickly.

Well, yesterday I downed two cocktail pitchers (to myself), two jägerbombs, and three apple pies (not the food, the shot). To say I was a little pissed is quite the understatement and I didn’t get home till well after midnight.

But here’s what has me so unfocused today.

Like most nights when I can’t sleep, I turned to my good old friend Youtube. I watched a couple of videos and laid in bed. I was nearly settled in record time (at least when it comes to drunk Katie trying to sleep, anyway).

Then I watched Philip Defranco’s newest video. After that, all hopes of sleeping disappeared.

Now for those of you who have never come across Phil, I’ll give you a quick run down. Phil reports current affairs, but unlike all other forms of media (at least the ones I’ve come across, anyway), he tries to keep an unbiased opinion. When that can’t be accomplished, whether it be because he knows personally the person in one of the segments, he is completely transparent. Phil is not trying to sway anyone into thinking a certain way but to start a conversation with his audience and, as always, inform people of the truth.

Yesterday he broke the news of a scandal involving one Youtuber who I’ve personally been following for many years. Phil, in the video (which I will leave a link to at the end of the blog), admits to having known ShayCarl for years. He admits that Shay has had his issues in the past, but he does not excuse his actions. He simply gives the facts as they were when he was reporting.

ShayCarl, vlogger and ‘all-around family man’, was exchanging explicit messages with a cam girl on Twitter.

I was heartbroken.

What attracted me to the Shaytard channel five years ago was the element of family the Butler’s oozed. In every second of their videos, there was love and devotion. There was something to aspire to. A family who went from the brink of poverty to being debt free. Who were known for saying ‘happiness is a choice’.

And now I don’t know how to feel.

If it was being an alcoholic that Shay was hiding, I think I would be able to support him still (even though, and I’m not sure why, I thought that the Butlers didn’t drink because of their religion). Being an alcoholic is not something to be ashamed of, especially when you know you need help. Having the support of a large community would probably be beneficial. The love would always circulate and there would always be someone to make sure you stayed on track.

But he only admitted to being an alcoholic after the cam girl revealed all.

Normally I know where I stand. Cheating, whether it be physical or virtual, is cheating. There are no if’s and but’s about it. You went into it with the intention of acting against your partner in an explicit manner. And there’s no forgiveness in that.

Yet I find myself trying to justify Shay. And I really don’t want to.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m a little lost at the moment. It’s going to take a while for me to come to terms with what Shay has done.

Whilst I hope Shay sees the error of his ways, I don’t think I will ever be able to watch another one of his video’s.

It’s just a shame that this is how the last nine years Shay and his family have been on Youtube will forever be remembered for. It won’t be the memories, it won’t be the adventures. It will be the DM’s Shay left.

That will be his legacy for his children. Even if they do return, I don’t think people will forget his actions. I don’t think burying his head for a year will help the matters.

He just needs to explain.




I'm currently working my way through a Creative and Professional Writing degree in London.

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