What is this?
Is this a… a blog?
A relic of the past! Behold, the divine beauty!
Okay, okay. That’s enough messing around from me. I haven’t been on here in months. I can’t even begin to bring myself to apologise because my final year at uni is whooping my ass in more ways than I thought possible. I thought, especially towards the end of September, that I would become a little more organised due to the fact I’m juggling seven billion projects (okay, definitely not that many, but certainly more than last year) and I was finally on the road to recovery with my sleeping.
Now that has to be the biggest lie I have ever told myself. My sleeping, whilst it has certainly improved since the begging of the summer, is by no means better. I still struggle to get into a routine. I’ve been trying to keep a sleep diary, and failing, for the last month now. It was what the doctor ordered after ruling out all physical ailments that could possibly affect sleep. The problem is I can’t keep to a regular pattern. I can certainly wake up at the same time every day, but going to bed… that’s a whole new issue.
I have found that my life at uni this year has drastically changed. Not only am I being more social than ever, I have more work to compensate for. So going to bed at the same time every night means I either have no social life or leave assignments uncompleted. Neither is very tempting, so I tend to go to bed anytime between 11pm – 3am most nights in the week. Obviously, I aim for 11pm every night, but then there are nights when I’m lying tossing and turning, completely and utterly restless with nothing helping me to drift off. But on the nights where I fall asleep later, I just can’t seem to get myself up at 8am, unless, of course, I have a lecture in the morning.
I guess half of it is because I do love my sleep. But it’s partially because I know if I force myself to get up, I’ll spend half the morning staring blankly at the TV unmotivated to get in the shower and then spend the rest of the day unable to focus on anything. Allowing myself to sleep on until I feel fully rested enables me to focus.
Take last week for example. I was ill for the first half and indulged time in bed in order to recover. By the time I travelled back to London to study, I was in the habit of getting up late in the day. But my production levels went through the roof. For the first time I was able to get a lot of work done in a short amount of time. So really, I’m in limbo when it comes to sleep. But, honestly? I’m just going to do the thing that enables me to study the most efficiently.
So yeah, there’s that aspect of my life covered. But the other is more important. Uni is truly kicking my ass this year. For the first time ever, I’m behind in my work. Like, seriously behind since the first week. Partially it was because during the first week I had no time to finish my first assignment which was set on the Monday.
So I’m only in two days this year. On Monday I have Life Writing. I planned to have the extortionate amount of reading and the writing tasks completed by the Wednesday so I could focus on my Dissertation and Creative Practice work over the weekend. But life seems to hate it when I plan things out in my life. I was roped into doing the freshers fair last minute (which was actually a great thing for my society) and ended up spending the day in the hall with my booth. When I came out, I had a meeting at work but I planned on going back to my flat and cramming in as much studying as possible.
Except the world really has different plans for me because the power went out campus wide and we didn’t get power until 11pm. So yeah, ever since then I’ve been behind.
But honestly, that wouldn’t have been the end of the world. Except the world keeps on shitting on me. Every time I plan my day/weekend out – something goes wrong. I’m not exaggerating. A week before my reading week, I sat down in the library fully prepared to spend my Sunday in the Library. I just managed to set myself up when I realized my glasses need cleaning and… snap. They broke in half. It took me 6 hours and a whole lot of panic-crying to fix them. Needless to say, I didn’t get much studying done that day.
Then, last week. I planned to spend Halloween weekend at home with my family. I had pretty much every day planned out and was due to be on a train back to London on Tuesday. Once again, the world struck. I came down with the worst flu I have ever had in my life. It was so bad that the longest I was awake on Tuesday was an hour – and that was only to force some food down my throat. I ended up staying in London until Thursday, and even then I lost Thursday evening and Friday to the damn flu.
Luckily I started to feel a whole lot better on Saturday and I actually managed to complete some assignments this weekend. But I’m still behind in work and I have no idea when I’ll be able to catch up.
Anyway, things are starting to look up. I’m finally getting into the swing of things again. I’m so excited to write my dissertation, but that is for another post.
Now, I’m not going to make any promises about posting more often. But I’ll definitely be back.