I turn 20 this month. I can’t help but feel like I am unprepared for that achievement. I do not feel like an adult. I still feel like the 5 year old bumbling about with no idea of what’s going on or where I’m going. But here I am; leaving my teens behind me and entering the world of adulthood.
Really I entered that world when I left for university. But even then I felt way out of my league. The feeling has not gone away, but other things have been distracting me.
At the end of May I’ll be ‘moving’ to London to work for the summer (and by moving, I mean relocating rooms on campus). I’ll be working full time, so I won’t be going home like I planned. The thought both thrills and scares the crap out of me. I’ve realized that I haven’t seen my family since January. I go through stages of loving them to pieces (like I do right now), and wanting to run away from them. I guess moving away will finally balance out the two desires.
There are a couple of things I wold like to achieve in April. I want to finally post some fiction on to the blog. I’m not sure what it will be, but I would like to write something I’m proud of.
It’s kind of a funny thing to write; to state that I want to write fiction. Normally I procrastinate doing the things that need to be done, but I feel like with the blog, my attitude is a bit different. I’m not entirely sure why, but I seem to be able to keep a regular update schedule without much of a fuss.
Maybe I’ll make April the month where I break my habits? I want to write more; to feel more comfortable with having my work read.
That’s all I really want this month. To write some fiction; and maybe not get lost in the realm of adulthood.
Lots of Love