In 2011 I attempted to start a blog. Ultimately I failed. I was 15 and thought I was a fucking genius. I don’t know what made me do it. What made me think that I could keep up with writing a blog. It’s time consuming, hard work, and at the end of the day, you really need to know what you’re talking about.
I’ve learnt a lot in the last five years; about myself and the world around me. Mainly, that I’m not as clever as I think I am and that there are a lot of people waiting to see me fail. But I’ve also learned that not trying does not equate to not failing. In fact, in not trying something, you have already failed yourself.
I could deem this blog a failure without even attempting to start it.
It may be stupid optimism that keeps me going, but I need to have faith in myself. Faith that I will write. So I have decided that I will. I have decided that this blog will not be dedicated to one topic, but several. I want to keep it open, To chronicle the way I grow as a writer and a person as it happens.
So, in the last five years I have learnt that sometimes adults don’t know what they are talking about. I was advised to not go to uni. To avoid getting myself into such a large sum of debt at such a young age. Those who advised me not to go two years ago are now my biggest supporters. They are so proud of what I have achieved since starting my degree in Creative Writing.
I have also learned how to be alone. Which sounds weird when you write it down, but it’s also true. As a writer, you need to know the environments that you can work with. I am a social person. I need to talk to other human beings as much as possible in order to not feel like the world is crushing me. But at uni… You are alone. I have my own bedroom with a shared kitchen. I do not always see my flatmates. I sometimes see nobody over a weekend and it is something I have learned to deal with. I have actually learned that I prefer it. I am easily distracted when my flatmates are around. I do not get my work done and then I become stressed with all the deadlines constantly approaching.
I have also learned that sometimes, the best book are the ones you least expect. I read a lot of science fiction. Recently I’ve been walking away from them more disappointed than excited because, as much as I love science fiction, it’s not hitting the marks. The biggest surprise was the fact I do really enjoy a good teen chick flick. A soppy romance with a predictable ending; with lots of laughter and tears. It’s surprising because up until recently I was adamant that I hated those types of books.
But really, what I have learned this year is that there is nothing stopping me from posting. So that is what 2016 will be for me.
It will be the year where I begin a blog. For real this time.